Solutions For Those Akward Moments

When it comes to saying the right thing at the right time, I usually am better off keeping my mouth shut. I have always admired people who have that gift- to put people at ease, make you feel comfortable and always know the “right” thing to say. I’m not saying to not be yourself. There’s just those moments and situations that would be a little less awkward, had you thought about things beforehand.

I’ve always wondered about this…you and your hairdresser have shared many great bonding moments together. You tell her things no one else knows. She’s been your shoulder to cry on. She’s out of the salon one day and you go to someone else who does a fantabulous job. You want to switch stylists, but don’t want to hurt her feelings. This could also be the babysitter, the housekeeper, the assistant or lawn boy. There is a nice way to do it.

Have a good reason. Being their client or employer, you are responsible for communicating the job description and your expectations. Outline what you expect from the beginning and update as needed.

Give fair warning. Before firing, tell them your concerns, and give them adequate time to correct the problem.

Give adequate notice. It’s not always the performance that causes the problem. Many times it is due to the fact that their services are no longer needed. Explain to them why.

Be honest. Don’t make up reasons or lie. If you gave them a chance to change their performance and it didn’t happen, tell them. Then move on.

Be kind. There is no reason to be cruel. Find something good to say about them and the work they’ve done.

This next one is a BIG pet peeve of mine. I can’t stand it when people are on their bluetooth, talking to whomever right next to you so you think they’re talking to you, so you start talking back and realize they aren’t. Awkward. Here are the 5 biggest cell phone turnoffs.

Talking too loudly. No we don’t care who you went out with last night and how hot he was. Talk quietly so no one has to be forced to hear your conversation- as much as we’d like to hear it.

Leaving the ringer on in quiet places. Theaters, places of worship and funerals should always be cell-free zones- as should most enclosed places (like public restrooms) where you can’t maintain a ten-foot distance from other people. Turn the ringer off and let it go to voicemail until you can talk without disturbing anyone.

Ignoring those you’re with. Live people should get first priority over messages. If you want your friends or relatives to feel second-rate then make or take calls when you’re in the middle of a conversation with them. Unless of course it’s an emergency, then they’ll understand.

Using offensive language. If you must inflict your conversation on others, don’t add insult to injury by using language you wouldn’t use around your grandma or telling gross stories.

Condolences. I think if you are writing someone a condolence note, it should absolutely be heartfelt and sincere. Here are some simple guidelines.

Say what you feel. Expressing your feelings about the deceased is better than the most expensive and eloquent store-bought card.

Make it short and sweet. A comforting note is personal and not long. Those struggling with a loss shouldn’t have to wade through something long-winded.

Don’t dwell on the details of the death or illness. Focus on a positive aspect of the person and his life.

Don’t say “It was for the best,” or “It was a blessing in disguise.” Most likely your friend won’t think her loss is a good thing, and could be potentially upsetting.

Offer some specific way to help if you can. “I’d like to bring you dinner some night this week if you’d like” is thoughtful. A general “please call me if you need anything” is not as helpful, unless your sure they will call you.

Just do it. It’s not always the easiest to write, but a nice condolence letter can be a boost for the griever.