We wanted to get to know one another a little better before we had children, and it never crossed our minds that getting pregnant would be, well, difficult. We had spent so much time PREVENTING pregnancy that when we actually welcomed it we were stunned that it didn’t just happen! We waited nearly a year -which I realize isn’t long at all, but when you’re going through it… it seems like it! When we got our first positive pregnancy test, we were jumping up and down, screaming, hugging, and crying. Just as soon as we could dial a phone, we were sharing the good news with our parents.
I spent more time reading that book than I did reading any other text book I had. I did everything the book told me to do. I ate fresh foods. I took naps. I made sure to exercise adequately. One afternoon, I was awakened from my nap by sharp, painful cramps in my abdomen. It didn’t worry me -I just thought it was all a normal part of being pregnant.
Amber says
Great advice, I just had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago. All those things you said are true!! I’m glad it gets easier.
The Rose Family says
HAving been through 5 miscarriages before we finally had our daughter, I’ve heard everything. The worst was when my BF, who was pregnant, said “I feel so guilty that I’m pregnant and you aren’t. I don’t know what to say to you.” LIke it was my fault that she felt guilty. AWKWARD! Thanks for your post!
T says
with all of the things I heard – the thing that meant the most was a care package that arrived in the mail 4 days later from two dear childhood friends… they must have scrambled to put it together at such short notice – and one of the items in that box still holds a special place in my home, just as a reminder. A reminder of my baby and a reminder that I have friends who truly care.
Sarah says
After my miscarriage I hated it when people would tell me “Oh, it happens alot”, “it could’ve been anything that was wrong”. One person told me I might not have drank enough orange juice. WHICH, made me feel HORRIBLE, cuz I hadn’t drinken ANY (my first pregnancy I got really sick with orange juice, haven’t been able to stomach it since!) Then I had someone I had met one time come and camp out at my house for a whole afternoon because she didn’t want to go home till she had to pick her other kids up at school. I still feel so much resentment toward her for that. Wish more people knew how to handle these situations.
Jessica GaleForce says
I’ve never had a miscarriage cause I have never been pregnant. My husband and I cannot have children after 7 years of marriage. The feelings are the same for those of us who can’t have kids and have struggled through the dark pits of despair as we bury the life we expected/planned to have. All we want to hear is that we are loved. That someone acknowledges the pain we are going through. A hug. And we also would probably very much enjoy a very large piece of chocolate in any of its varieties.
Good Post!
Kendall K says
Thank you so much for this post. I have had a few friends that have miscarried and I never know what to say! So thank you… next time I hope I can be more comforting and supportive by using your tips.
KatieLarson says
I just had a miscarriage last week. Thank you for writing this. My heart is hurting and reading this article has helped me. People don’t mean to sound crass but they do. Thank you for your words.
Alicia says
Thank you all for your wonderful comments. My heart goes out to all of you who have miscarried, and I’m hoping that someday miscarriage won’t be so widely misunderstood.
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Kay says
Great post Alicia! I miscarried between my 2 kids and what you said at the end of the post is so true. I do remember when I would’ve delivered, I DO look at kids who were born at the same time and wonder. It’s amazing the comments you get that are just heartless and unthoughtful with people thinking that they are helping. I’m so glad you wrote this. 🙂