Have you ever thought, “Dang! I wish I had this with my first baby!” I’m sure you have. Then, when you get to the point where you’re done or almost done having kids…it seems too late to buy anything new and fantastic. I know, I know all about it. So, I thought I would share with you some of my all-time favorite must-have products, and must-do tips that I gathered along my 7-baby way … Advice for new moms!
Now, before I get started… Every mom and every child are different. A piece of advice for new moms may be great for one mother, but not applicable to another. And, I truly believe that as mothers, we can trust our intuition more than we realize. So take any piece of advice for exactly what it is… advice. Then, follow your instincts. The beautiful thing about parenting is we can always make adjustments. We can try something different, we can apologize, we can learn, grow, and find new ways to make the mother and child experience even better. Our children are our children for a reason.
Advice for New Moms
Babies Sleeping Through The Night
With my first baby, I didn’t get much sleep. Every time he slightly fussed, I felt like I needed to rock him, feed him, comfort him, kiss him, pet him, sing to him, and tickle his blanket on his face…all at the same time. Unfortunately, he started to like it too much. And, who wouldn’t, right?? By the time morning came, I was a zombie. Zombies don’t make very good moms. Slowly, I started to learn, kid by kid…and by number 4, I found something that worked for me.
While my babies were under 4 months old, I would feed them throughout the night, when they seemed hungry. Around the fourth month, they would randomly sleep through the night (yay!) and the times they woke up, it seemed to be for reasons other than hunger, like habit (boo.) In turn, my habit was to pamper them and continue the cycle. So, at that point I put them in their nursery and started letting both of us sleep through the night. Usually, the first one or two nights they would fuss, but it was never more than a few minutes, and after that…a beautiful slumber, every time. Sometimes they will sleep for so long that I have to wake them up in the morning! True story. My doctor always says as long as the baby is gaining weight at a healthy rate, he doesn’t care how early they sleep through the night. Anyway, both mom and babe seem happier, more patient and functional, when we’re getting more sleep.
A few other baby sleeping tips that helped immensely:
- Always try to put your baby to bed when they are awake. It helps them learn how to fall asleep on their own.
- My babies seem to really love the white noise thing, womb noises or rain also work. From the time they’re newborn, I get them used to sleeping to the sound, and still my toddlers sleep more sound with it. For babies, I love the Cloud B sheep or giraffe. I’ll get the big one for their bed, and the little one to hook on their car seat. My toddlers love the Marpac Sound Conditioner.
- With baby #6 and #7, my sister-in-law taught me a slick trick that ended up with both of those babes sleeping through the night after just one month. Now really, there’s no need to have a heart attack, worrying that the baby is starving to death to the night. They’re not. I even double checked with my pediatrician and family doctor, who both gave me the stamp of approval… as long as the babies continue to gain weight. That was the key. Don’t let Pinterest parenting posts scare you either. You don’t need to stress or over-think parenting. Just go with it, love your babies, and use your brain.So basically, this trick only works if your baby likes using a pacifier. When they are newborns, have them sleep in a bassinet right by your bed. I usually start this trick around two weeks but I know some start earlier. When they wake up fussing in the night, DON’T TOUCH THEM and DON’T TALK TO THEM, but carefully put their binki in their mouth (even if you think it’s “time to eat.”) Most likely they will settle down and you can go back to sleep for a minute. If they fuss again, do the exact same thing. Keep doing that over and over, as many times as they allow you, until they wake up and actually are crying mad. At that time and ONLY at that time, scoop them up and feed them. Rinse and repeat.
- The first night of effort is standard, probably every 2 or 3 hours. But each day, the length of time will get longer and longer and it will totally surprise you when all the sudden you wake up in the morning, after having slept the whole night!Basically, what’s going on here is you are breaking a habit or stopping one from forming. They can go much longer than a few hours without eating and you’ll see the evidence of that pretty quickly. Babies like comfort and that’s usually what the fussing is about… and, that’s great. But, we don’t need to make a habit out of needing comfort all through the night. Babies need sleep too. Now obviously… if the baby is poopie or something, take care of business, and then you can start the process again.
- My sister in law learned this from her mother, who also raised 7 kids. After each of my SIL’s babies arrive, her mother will come stay at her house and help her ‘sleep train’ each of her babies and it’s worked for all four of hers… and they’re healthy and thriving. 😉 This has worked so well with my last two and is definitely some advice for new moms that I wish I would have heard with baby number one.
Reusable Straws
I never knew there was such a thing until last year. I stumbled across these reusable Softy Straws, and life has never been the same. Kids love straws, they just do. I could never keep my straw supply stocked longer than a week…but, now I’m never without one. When the kids are done, simply rinse and clean the inside with the included squeegee, then stick in the dishwasher (or wash by hand.) I love that these are flexible and a little safer for kids if they end up running around with them.
Sippy Cups
I have tried probably 30 different types of sippy cups over the past 10 years…and, I always come back to the most simple, super cheap, non-cute, Take n Toss ones…I’m sure you’ve seen them. They aren’t 100% leak proof, they will leak slowly, but I’ve found most do, and the other qualities of these cups make them ‘totally worth it’ to me. I love that they can be used as a regular cup or sippy cup. I love that if they get gross with old milk and I don’t want to barf, I can just throw it away and not cry because they were so expensive. It’s nice that I can send them home with nieces and nephews who aren’t done with their drink and not think about cost or care about getting them back. And, they’re super simple to clean!
over the past 10 years…and, I always come back to the most simple, super cheap, non-cute, A couple other tips about sippy cups:
- Here’s what took me 5 kids to learn (I’m slow)…only buy ONE kind of sippy cup so the lids are all interchangeable. I can’t tell you how many cups I have with no lid or lids I have with no matching cup. Ridiculous. These Take n Toss cups are perfect for that.
- I’ve tried several different sippy cups to transition from bottle to cup. Logically, I tend to buy cups where the spout resembles a bottle nipple or something and sometimes they do okay with those for a little while. But seriously… another reason why I love these cheap cups… my older babies do so good with these. They don’t have to inhale until they’re blue to get any liquid to come out. They taste the drip and start sucking. Oh, and by the way, I usually transition my kids off the bottle around 10 months, BEFORE it becomes too much of a comfort item and I also don’t give it to them in bed. It works great, makes life easier, and saves their incoming teeth.
Pantry Lock
I used to think only a nazi-mom would lock her pantry door. But, then I realized how absolutely great it is! Now, the boxes of cheerios are dumped out only 3 times a day…when I open it for meals. Oh, and junior isn’t stuffing his face full of Oreos, every time I turn my back. We’ve learned that there are no shelves high enough to hide the junk food, you’ve just got to lock the door. I’m a fan.
Robeez Shoes
When I first saw the Robeez shoes, I thought they were so ugly. But, after I heard rave reviews about them, I tried them out. They are the best! No shoe stays on your little babe’s feet better than these. And, they have grown on me…I find them pretty stinkin’ cute, now. I especially like the slipper type ones for colder weather.
Toggle Bottle and Breastfeeding
With my first baby, I thought the only right thing to do was to breastfeed my baby, exclusively. As opposed to breastfeeding other people’s babies. Just kidding…what I mean, is I had anxiety about giving my baby an occasional bottle. It wasn’t until a couple kids later that I realized that it’s not a big deal if I gave them a bottle of formula (or breast milk) while I was at the grocery store, or eating at a restaurant, or anywhere that it was hard to stop what I was doing and find somewhere to nurse the baby. To date, it has never made my babies stop nursing, made me lose my milk supply, and it hasn’t ruined their lives. And, if it ever started to, I could adjust as needed. I’m proud to say that all of my kids are plenty healthy and plenty smart. But, if the baby just won’t take a bottle, like my current little stinker, you’re out of luck.
Speaking of breastfeeding, if you get a birth control pill, make sure you are on the one specifically for nursing mothers (there might be different brands available.) Okay, this is so crazy to me. But, for the first four babies I had NO idea there was such thing as a birth control pill for nursing mothers, I just took what my doctors prescribed (3 different docs.) Within a couple weeks of taking the pill, my milk supply was drastically less, causing so much frustration for me and baby. I always thought it was just my body finally overcoming engorgement (to an excess) and never realized it was from the pill I was taking. After all, the doctor(s) gave it to me. Finally on baby #5, I got a new doctor (for reasons other than this) and she told me I needed to be on a specific pill. I was like, ‘What?!? I had no idea! After all these years of struggling!!’ Needless to say, now I know and it has made all the difference in the world. It’s amazing to finally have all the milk that my baby needs. Yay!
Security Items
I think it’s important for little ones to learn that they’re safe and can feel comfortable and rest easy, which is exactly why I try to control the coddling and feeding them unnecessarily. I don’t want them to feel like they are only safe and comfortable in my arms. As much as I loooove holding my babies and I do all the time, I want to give them the gift of feeling peace more often, because it’s not possible for me to always hold them. So, with that said, there are a couple security items that I am a fan of… little things that are soothing, that don’t require me 24/7…
I love binkies (pacifiers) and woobies (or special blankets) for my babes. I swear they just make them happier and sleep more soundly (see the sleep method mentioned at the beginning of this post.) Plus, have you ever tried sleeping on their blankie, bunched under your head?? It’s way comfy. I totally get it. Anyway, even though I usually let my babies try a few different pacifiers, they have always liked the same ones by NUK. It eventually got to the point where I didn’t even offer different binki types, my babies just gravitate to NUK.
And, as far as woobies go (that’s what they’re called in my house), we love the ones that are silky on one side and minky on the other. Ahhh…so soft. All of my kids have had their ‘special woobie’ that is with them constantly, until they’re around 4 years old or older! Every single time, the woobie they choose to be their favorite comes from an Etsy shop called Yatoil. They’re the most perfect size, weight, and so silky soft. I usually have to buy two of the same one so that I can hide one for emergencies (they lose their first one or it gets too worn out.) These Yatoil blankets are also my go-to for baby gifts. That, with the snot-sucker… two of the best things ever! Ha.
Anyway, if you’re worried about eventually having to take away the binky and having it be a big fuss, never fear. Check out this post: Time to Take Away the Binky & Stop Thumb Sucking. In it, I share what has worked for me EVERY SINGLE TIME. I’ve shared the simple trick with my friends, works for them too. It works.
Bumbo Chair in Shower
Have you ever had a shower while your baby is sitting in a bouncer chair outside the shower door, screaming bloody murder?? It’s great, you should try it. I’m usually not giving my babies baths, it’s hard on my back. So, when they are under 5 months, I just put their baby bath right in the shower with me. They love laying in it, as long as I put a wet, warm wash cloth over their belly. But, after 5 months, I’m all about the Bumbo chair. It’s perfect for getting wet and propping up the baby.
. It’s perfect for getting wet and propping up the baby.* I should probably note that these chairs are not meant for showers or baths. You don’t need to email me to tell me that. And if you do this yourself, you obviously need be smart about it, which you will, because we want our babies to be safe. If you put it in a bath, it will float away. I only use it in my shower because it doesn’t slide on my shower floor at all, there’s not standing water, and I’m standing just inches away from it. You should never leave your baby alone around water… swimming pools, hot tubs, bath tubs, showers, open toilets…
Maternity Clothes
It wasn’t until baby #6, that I discovered StitchFix for maternity clothes. I’m kicking myself for not knowing this parenting tip, because now I don’t need any more! When I was buying maternity clothes, I could only think of two places where they were cute and affordable, Motherhood Maternity and Old Navy. But, I’ve actually gotten several of my most favorite pieces from StitchFix. I’ve used them when pregnant and also when I’m not pregnant. I love that the stylists get better with my picks every time. I’m a little finicky with the things I look for, and if they don’t get something right the first time, they make adjustments. But, they always find the cutest, most stylish pieces. And, you can put your price range in your settings, so they aren’t picking items for you that are more than you’re willing to pay.
Safe & Amazing Cleaning Products
If you’re interested in keeping as many chemicals as possible out of your home, I LOVE Norwex products, like seeeeeriously love. Basically what they are known for is their microfiber cleaning products. The fibers are made so fine (1/200th the size of a human hair), that they pick up everything… more than you dreamed of! Ha! But, really. There are all these experiments that have been done showing that just using the cloths to clean with water, no chemicals, cleans BETTER than any of your household cleaners. On top of that, there is silver embedded in the cloths, so after using, you rinse and lay them out. While the cloth is drying, the silver battles the bacteria, and you end up with a fresh, non-stinky rag.
The products can be a little pricey, but when you consider all you save on cleaning products (only use water!), you quickly make that money back. I literally don’t buy any household cleaners anymore. I just use my trusty Norwex cloths. My favorite is the face cloth that I use to take off my makeup. I don’t buy face wash anymore and it gets my skin insanely clean. Anyway, lots of great reasons to have these… of course saving money, but I love the idea of making my home healthier for my littles! You can read more about the cloths in this post that I wrote: The Best Cleaning Cloths in the World.
Snot Sucker
I put off using this NoseFrida SnotSucker contraption for a couple children, after it first came on the market, despite hearing about how great it is. Definitely one of the best pieces of advice I overlooked. Basically, it’s like one of those nose squeegee things you get from the hospital, but works a MILLION TIMES better. You actually get the snot out and that’s a super helpful thing, especially when little ones get a cold and can’t breathe very well. It makes them so uncomfortable and it’s really tricky when nursing. The reason I put off using it is because… well, you’re sucking snot. I’m pretty squeamish, so the idea of doing anything like that was a little too much for me. But, then I learned how it actually works and it wasn’t a big deal anymore and it was definitely something I was willing to do for the comfort of my baby. How it works is, you just hold the tip of the sucker in their nose and so short ‘sucks’ on the end of the straw. It pulls the snot right out and you have no need to worry about it getting anywhere near you because it stays just at the tip of blue tip, and there’s still a long straw between you and that. You’ll be fine, I promise. This thing is so great.
Anyway, those are some of my tried-and-true mommy tips, hopefully some helpful advice for new moms.
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love this topic. I find myself saying “I wish I knew” often. 🙂
One thing I wish I knew with my first child was the NICU way to give my babys a bath. My youngest was 8 weeks early. the nicu nurses taught me how to wrap my baby in a recieving blanket then place him in the little bath tub and unwrapped each area of his body to wash then wrap back up and move to the next area. He loved his baths! It helps them feel more secure.
I like your car seat idea…I used that as well. I did learn though that anytime your baby is in the car seat he/she should be buckled in. Iknow of a family who’s baby died by siding down the seat and being hung by the seat belt. Also have to be careful…newborns air can get cut off by sitting in a car seat. I think most moms and dads get this info leaving the hosptial now….something that didn’t happen with my first. 🙂 Sorry to go on and on.
Great topic!
Thank you, for the advice about car seats. Living in a country where car seats are not used or not done up for babies. Therefore not going to get this advice at the hospital.
I learned on baby number five that the best invention is a sleepy wrap. You can find them on sleepywrap.com. I love loved loved it. It does not hurt my back or shoulders, and the baby is so comfy and secure. It freed up my hands for the other four. I could cook, or shop, or do anything with this thing. He went everywhere in it. And it’s cute, too. Not ugly like some slings or front packs.
When my second child was 2 1/2 we went hiking at Zion’s. She was big enough that we didn’t want to bring the frame baby carrier because she wanted to walk most of the time so we just gave her piggyback rides when she needed a break. That worked out fine until she fell asleep and I had to carry her down the mountain for 2.5 miles. It’s amazing how heavy kids are when they’re asleep! That was when I decided to see what else was out there as far as baby carriers. I was sure that there was something I could have stuck in our backpack to help me carry her rather than wearing an empty framed carrier just in case she was ready for a ride.
And I found plenty! I now regularly use a pouch sling, ring sling, mei tai, and my “soft structured carriers” the Beco and Angelpack. And wrap style carriers are amazing too, but I don’t use these as much now that my baby wants to get down more. These carriers make my life so much easier– I can get dinner started even when the baby is clingy! I can get my grocery shopping done with both hands without having to put the baby down. And I can get the house picked up quickly when I need to with the baby on my back. I wish I had known about them right from the beginning!!
I’m with you on the sleep thing. I COULD NOT sleep with a baby in the room with me. I fed them much more often than necessary! With our last we didn’t have a room for her so I thought she had to sleep in the room with us until she was sleeping through the night and able to move in with her brother. That lasted 6 weeks with no sleep for mommy. So we moved her bed into the dining room and that’s where she slept until she was 4 months old. So what that she didn’t have a “nursery”.
I also had mine sleep in a seat or bouncy seat for the first few weeks.
Love the seat in the shower! Wish those seats would have been around when mine were little! That would also be great for someone who might not have a bathtub, but only a shower.
Ok, the Bumbo in the shower – BRILLIANT!!!! Thank you!!!
Love it, the only thing is the sleeping through the night thing, I do that and it is not working. My son is 9 months old and he slept with me for the longest and last night was the fourth night and he still cries and cries to get out. He cries so bad that he stays awake and when I get him just to comfort him after like an hour, he falls asleep in my arms. 🙁
While some of the advice here is alright, there are a few points that are pretty upsetting such as the 4-ish month cut off for night nursing. Just because you nurse at night does not immediately mean that you cannot function as a person. I am all about doing what is right for the child, whatever that is, but that seems less to do for the child and more about what is convenient for mom. There are much gentler methods for combining night nursing and getting enough sleep as a parent. Just a thought.
I agree. My baby is 6 months old and wakes up once a night to nurse. She used to sleep through the night (8-10 hours) from 2-4 months then started night nursing again. Her pediatrician said its most likely to keep my milk supply up. Some babies do wake up out of habit though, so it depends on the baby, but I do feel like 4 months is a little early to stop night nursing.
I did get the impression that she was saying to completely stop feeding your baby at night, I think her point was, move the baby out of the room so that you don’t wake up every time they move. I moved my daughter out of my room between 3.5 and 4 months with a baby monitor so that I could get more sleep, and when she was really hungry she made enough noise for me to hear on the monitor, and I fed her, and went back to my room for the rest of the night. She was sleeping through the night by 6 months because I wasn’t waking up and fussing over her every time she moved a muscle.
I meant to say that did NOT get the impression that she was saying to stop feeding at night.
If you don’t have a Bumbo, try cotton gloves. You slip them on your hands, and the baby is not a slippery things that wants to keep falling out of your arms. The cotton give you great “grippage” on that slippery body!
What great tips I am expecting my first at the end of summer and your blog has been great for tips! Thanks!
Oh my heck. I just typed a response to every single one of you and when I submitted it, I guess it timed-out! Aghh! Seriously. Well, thanks ladies for all your thoughts and tips. I guess I’ll just address Connie again, since it was the longest response…
Connie- There really isn’t anything traumatic going on here. I have noticed that around 4 or 5 months MY babies can sleep through the night, because they randomly will. You start to know your baby and I knew that they weren’t hungry…it was just a waking-habit. When they slept in my room, I would find myself needlessly feeding them and needlessly tired in the mornings. When really, if I just let them fuss for a few minutes, they would fall right back asleep. Fussing isn’t the worst thing, in fact, a couple nights of random, minimal fussing and they were sleeping through the night. Not only was I getting more sleep, but the baby is getting more sleep too. It also seems to teach them that they are capable of falling asleep on their own. It’s better for the both of us, mom and baby. No trauma, nothing mean. Just an adjustment for the better. Motherhood is a touchy subject, with a variety of ways to go about it, so I never expect everyone to agree with me. And, I thank you for the comment!
Oh, @hlanthony…that’s tricky…but, maybe try working with your baby during the day time. Nap time. It’s easier to let your babies cry during nap time than it is at night. My kids love white noise sounds or music. You could try that. Maybe just check on him randomly, so he knows youre still around, but don’t pick him up. Maybe that will help. I don’t know. Good luck!
What great tips!! Thanks for sharing!
My favorite things are white noise and blackout curtains for deeper, longer sleeping. The white noise is wonderful in our small house because it drowns out all the activity going on. I also learned about Mum-Mums with my last baby. They are awesome! The baby can hold them and they disolve without very little mess. Plus you can get them at Walmart and most stores now. I totally agree with helping your baby learn to fall asleep on their own. Do it from the very begining and they will be better sleepers throughout their childhood. I love the book “Secrets of the Baby Whisper” if you want more of an explanation on that and other helpful tips!
And I of course love all your tips Mariel!
Becc,
I forgot I was going to get after you for a post on that book. You mentioned it to me before…I’ll be emailing you, watch out.
I’ll have to look up those mum-mums, thanks!
I love those straws I will have to purchase them. Let me know when you do and we can split shipping:) I love all of your tips you are a great mama!!!
After 4 kids–I agree with all!! LOVE the bumbo in the shower … genius! I also 2nd Rebecca about the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, but she has some different/weird breastfeeding suggestions. Otherwise, good. Another book that is very similar is Baby Wise. This is the book that I skim though every time I have another baby just for a refresher. It is GREAT. It’s basically the same parenting approach as “Secrets …” but more “factual-feeling” if that even makes sense. I think it’s the male vs. female author-styles. Anyway, both great.
My other love is “The Happiest Baby on the Block” DVD which gives you 5 steps to help sooth crying babies. It works!! They’re for sale everywhere, but we just checked it out from our library. It’s only 30 min long or so. My hubby even swears by it.
Sorry for the mega-long post! 🙂
Thanks, Butler Fam! I’ll look into that book 🙂
my lifesavers:
touch lamps for bedside tables – no fumbling for the switch
those mesh feeding bags on a ring? a pain to clean, but you know what else they are good for? stick an ice cube inside, and teething baby can suck away.
love all the suggestions – they are spot on in my experience of four kids 🙂
Those mesh feeding bags are incredible! When my little guy was teething putting ice-cubes in there was the only thing to get him to quit fussing. He liked frozen pedialite pops too.
The bumboseat specifically says not to use in water or as a bath seat! Please be careful and follow the safety instructions and encourage others to do so as well!
The bumboseat specifically says not to use in water or as a bath seat! Please be careful and follow the safety instructions and encourage others to do so as well!
I personally LOVE those mesh bags you can stick food in & they can just gum to death! With our first I sat next to him in his high chair making sure he would never choke on anything. With those mesh bags you can stick TONS of stuff in them. Your little one still gets all of the flavor & nutriets & you don’t have to worry wether you cut everything up small enough or find all of there food under them when you go to pick them up.
I personally LOVE those mesh bags you can stick food in & they can just gum to death! With our first I sat next to him in his high chair making sure he would never choke on anything. With those mesh bags you can stick TONS of stuff in them. Your little one still gets all of the flavor & nutriets & you don’t have to worry wether you cut everything up small enough or find all of there food under them when you go to pick them up.
I had never thought about the bumbo in the shower. That’s a great idea. I just stuck mine into storage because my son wasn’t using it. I’ll have to take it out now lol. Those baby bathtubs are so bulky in the bathroom too. I love your tips. I did the breastfeeding and bottle too because of work and he didn’t die. He’s smart and healthy. Great tips!
I also suggest reading the book called “Gentle Babies” by Debra Raybern if you haven’t read it. It has to do with Young living essential oils, if you haven’t tried them I suggest giving them a try! They are awesome, I am actually a distributor! I love the oils they work magnificently. I refuse to give my child any type of Tylenol or antibiotic! I have a son that is 3 and a daughter that is 2 months :).
I also treat my sons ear infections with the oils, he use to get chronic ear infections but now he barely gets any. Also he would not go to sleep on his own or sleep in his own bed until I bought peace & calming oil from young living, I rubbed in on his feet & neck & down his spine.. Worked like a charm he was out within 5 minutes!
Any mom or well anyone that is interested in young living oils please contact me, my email is [email protected]
And if you’d like to just go to the site & sign up as a customer you can go to youngliving.org and sign up my distributor number is 1414740. My name is Nicole Person, if you have any questions please email me and let me know.
We have oils for baby congestion, sleep, asthma, ear infections anything. And for women dealing with issues of stress, depression,weight loss, anything just give it a chance 🙂 I’m willing to answer any questions. Just feel free to email me!
As a *still* breastfeeding mother, this advice is very counterintuitive. If a mother’s goal is to breastfeed giving a bottle of formula when you are out (because of the mother’s discomfort it seems, as nursing is always the fastest, easiest route) would be very detrimental. Anytime you substitute something it will decrease your supply, as would night weening at such an early age.
Also, it sounds as if you are recommending a very controversial method of sleep training known as “crying it out” or “feberizing”. I would really recommend that anyone wanting to try this read the actual method before following as they do not even say to attempt this at 4-5 months.
I won’t even comment on the bumbo in the shower…..
Please research before trying anything on your own baby. If it doesn’t *feel* right….it probably isn’t.
@ Christian Blair – you are annoying. This is her personal advice. If you don’t like it, don’t read/use it.
The method I love for getting my babies to sleep has nothing to do with some book about the cry it out method. I have no idea what that is. I use the common sense method. When I can tell that my babies are capable of sleeping through the night and they are waking up out of habit, I let them fuss for a few minutes and they go back to sleep. If they don’t stop fussing, I give them their binky, quietly leave the room, and they go back to sleep. There’s not hours of crying going on here. But, despite…there is always someone who wants to be the parenting police and make mountains out of absolutely nothing. That just goes with being a blogger.
As far as giving a bottle randomly, it is not ‘very detrimental.’ Give me a break. I’ve done it with several of my children, when I’m out and about, and it hasn’t done anything to my milk supply. If I was doing it a couple times a day, every day, yes…of course, I would decrease my milk supply. But once a week, or even once every few days, it’s not going to cause a problem. And, nobody said that it has to be formula, you can just as easily give a bottle of breast milk.
Bumbo in the shower, goes to back to common sense. Of course Bumbo is saving their tail by putting on their that it is not to be used in water. They have to say that because some brain dead person somewhere will put their baby in the bath tub, like I said not to, and leave the room. However, I know that in my shower, the Bumbo doesn’t slip at all, there is no standing water, and I am inches away from my baby. Literally inches. Obviously, I don’t need to defend myself to you. But, I just get so tired of the notion that no parenting can be done unless it has been approved by a book, an instruction manual, some random doctor, or the government. Love your babies like crazy and use common sense. We have that intuition. There isn’t just one right way to be a good mom. If someone doesn’t want to try what has worked for me, no big deal.
I have three children. All three of my children have slept through the night (7 to 8 hours) by the time they are 7 to 8 weeks. I have talked to my doctor and he told me the same thing. As long as they are gaining weight the are just fine to sleep through the night. As a nursing mother I have never let my babies sleep more than 10 hours are night in fear that my milk supply will decrease. I have successfully breastfed all of my babies. I admire your advice…and I will take it, you have 6 children I have three and I realize you have probably learned a thing or two more than me! 🙂 Thank you for taking your time to give advice! And just a side note my Hubby kicks the babies out of our room after 1 or 2 nights in our room. I sleep a lot better without them right next to me and so does he. 🙂 Thank you again!
Thanks for the comment, Collette! My baby number six has actually been sleeping through the night since he was 4 weeks old (he’s 2 1/2 months now.) It’s been so nice and he is the happiest little baby. If he happens to wake up, his binki is all he needs and he’s back to sleep. He was just in to the doc and is growing like a weed! He’s already in the 95% on height and a bit over average on weight. Obviously, not all my babies were this easy going, but it really just seems that in the past, it was ME keeping my baby up at night, thinking he was hungry when he was just waking out of habit, because of a dream, a noise, losing the binki, etc. It’s pretty easy to tell when my babe is actually hungry. If I try to give him his binki when he’s hungry, he instantly spits it out and goes from fussing to crying. He’s so frustrated! When he just needs soothing, he will quickly latch on to his binki and start to relax. Anyway, being a mom is awesome and babies are the sweetest things ever! Thanks for stopping by!
Christan – Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I think much of our society’s parenting issues come from parents comparing themselves to others and judging what others choose to do with their children. Don’t take Mariel’s advice if you don’t like it, but don’t judge what has worked for her.
I happen to think helping babies learn how to put themselves to sleep is the key to a happy, independent baby and happy, well-rested parents. It doesn’t require crying, as Mariel said, and it works. Babies should not rely on parents or any other crutch to get to sleep.
I breastfed three babies and it took me to the third baby to figure out how nice it is to hand a bottle to my husband while we’re at a restaurant instead of nursing. It was wonderful, and he loved having a chance to feed the baby. I plan to continue using a bottle with my future, breast-fed babies.
And Bumbos are the best thing that ever happened to moms. Common sense tells you that putting it in the bottom of a shower inches away from you shouldn’t be a problem.
Feel free to do what works with your kids, but think twice next time you criticize a mom who is just trying to do what works for her and her kids. There’s enough self-doubt involved in being a mom without being criticized by other mothers.
Remember Bumbo recall also!!! Christan, I’m with you!
I used the Bumbo in the shower for my youngest also. There is no standing water for the seat to float around, and I never put him directly under the flow of the shower head. I, too, nursed and supplemented for my own ease and comfort. I also moved my children out of our room, and discontinued night feedings around 4 months. When you know that your baby is able to sleep through the night there is no reason not to do what makes you more comfortable. People are awfully judgemental when it comes to parenting tactics. If your child is not endangered, and things are a little easier and a little less stressful, then who’s to judge!?
Thanks for a great list of possible alternatives for new parents to choose what is comfortable to them!
@christen, nursing is not always the fastest easiest route, as an exclusive nurser also being very large chested, traditional holds would not work nor was my baby discreet, he hated to be covered played and flailed while nursing, things were always leaking and popping out all over the place. Only option sometimes was to nurse in the bathroom or car for 30 min. At that rate it was pointless to even leave the house. Sometimes women have to do what works best for them and their baby
Thank you great post !!!
@christen: I agree that for me nursing is always easier however, there is nothing wrong with supplementing if it works better for you. you do not have to be miserable to be a parent. My baby stopped on her own with night feedings and began sleeping through the night at 3 months. my supply is fine. In fact, I often feel like my breasts will explode in the morning and have to pump one side because she doesn’t eat enough for me to be comfortable. as for the bumbo seat… I think the shower is an excellent idea, as long as you are standing there. I am sure everyone has used a baby product in a way that they weren’t supposed to.
I am in the same boat as you are with the baby not taking a bottle. she used to take it some, and then around 3 months she decided not anymore! I am quite sad about it since I cannot ever leave her ever even for a few hours.
I just slapped myself on the head.
I have two kids, but any intelligent woman who has gone through the learning curve of raising kids knows There Is Always More to Learn. And, we really want one more kid, so I checked this out to see what more I could learn. Your baby-IN-the-shower is sheer genius. In fact, I’ve been waking up at 5a every morning so I could shower before the kids were up, get my daughter to school, and then take care of my son. But, holy cow! I could take my 2yo in the shower with me – 2 birds! 1 stone! This means I can actually exercise at that hour instead!
You are my hero.
You’re tougher than me, getting up at 5am. Thanks for your fun comment!
@Christen – ugh, I get so tired of “know it alls”.
Thank you so much for the great suggestions. I stumbled upon your blog on pinterest. I have a five anda half month old (my first). From the very beginning She ONLY would take a NUK passie. I received a million passies of all varieties from baby showers and of course I then had to go buy a million more of this special kind while the rest gather dust. I have learned the hard way already about the tendencies to over-respond when sharing a room with your little one. She slept in our room until 4.5 months and was literaly getting up every hour. She has always been a terrible sleeper but at least she only got up 3 or 4 times when she was swaddled. Anyhoo, we are now sleep training and although there is a few more tears than you experienced, I can tell she is getting the hang of it. And with regards to bottle feeding, I breastfeed but pump all day long even though I have not gone back to work yet. At four months, she didn’t even want my poor boobie during the day because she had to miss out on all the exciting things to look at around her. I can’t imagine what could possibly be wrong with a bottle! God forbid a woman go back to work or anything crazy like that! We all can’t be Marissa Meyer and have a nursery installed next to our office – althoigh that would be suh-weet!
About the seat in the shower. If anyone’s really actually worried about it slipping ( I honestly wouldn’t know as I didn’t use one with my first ) Put something on the bottom. Like strips of fabric or something that doesn’t slip around on tile. It is a really good idea though because it’s extremely hard to shower with a child screaming at you for the entire time!
My daughter slept with me or in my room next to my bed for most of her babyhood. It’s more difficult. but it was easier then. I was going to school full time, working, and doing other things outside the home and in it. I needed what little sleep I could get and she slept better with me. For this one though, as I’m not working, I’m going to be putting him (or her) in their crib at bedtime and let them learn to sleep on their own. My friend did and it was amazing how quickly he learned to sleep on his own. (My daughter still begs to sleep in bed with my husband and I lol) Obviously, if they’re sitting in there crying for hours and hours you might want to check on them, but other than that it’s not bad to teach them to self sooth.
Loved this post. I am done having kids and these would have come in handy!! My kids slept through the night super early and it was because they were in their own rooms at 2 months. They are still good sleepers and we have no bedtime issues. I love the Bumbo in the shower idea! I tried a Bumbo with my youngest and he hated it! He would arch his back and flip himself out! The little pill. I would have done the shower thing otherwise!
Thanks for stopping by, Meggan!
So much wonderful advice! I have a 16 month old, and a baby on the way. I can’t tell you how much I agree with everything you’ve said.! I wish that I had known these things when My son was younger! Thank you!
Also, starting sleep training early is a wonderful idea. I listened to what “experts” say, and my 16 month old still doesn’t sleep through the night. Awesome. This next baby will be sleeping in her own room as soon as she can go through the night without needing to nurse.
Thanks, Mary! Sweet of you to comment.
I almost died when you recommended the reusable straws!!!! When my little girl was 18 months- she grabbed my cup off of my night stand and it took her 2 seconds and one step walking to daddy with one in her mouth. Needles to say she punctured her soft palate, lost so much blood she had to have a blood transfusion and surgery. My husband and I were right there looking at her. So so so dangerous!!! I hate these and have contacted all companies. I am a pediatric nurse and know better- but some people don’t. I hate that you recommended these
Yikes, what a horrible accident. However, I stand by my recommendation. Accidents and harm can happen from probably every single object in the world, we can’t ban everything. We just need to use things wisely, be aware of what is in reach of small children, and how they’re using them. My little sister was stabbed in the neck when she fell, holding scissors. It was a scary accident and a good reminder to be more careful. But, I would never say that scissors should be done away with, or that no kid should ever be allowed to use them again. That’s just not reasonable or necessary. And, I’m sure scissors have caused far more accidents than straws. We just need to use good judgement, and even with that, unfortunately accidents will still happen…just not as often.
I have to agree with Mariel on this one. There are perils everywhere and there’s no way to protect your child from everything. You just have to be vigilant and careful and trust that accidents are rare. I think that the more we try to protect our children and make them anxious about everything, the less likely they are to grow up with good judgement and common sense – both of which will protect them more than any parent could.