If there is one thing that I’m super strict about with my children, it would be that they are kind to each other. They are all very aware that if they want to fight or be mean, they need to do it quietly, or when mom is not around. But, is that all I want them to gain from my vigilance? To be secretly mean? No….I really, really want them to understand how important a family is. I want them to realize how much we need each other for love and support. Life is too hard to do it alone, and there’s nothing like having your family behind you. Both Dan and I have been blessed with wonderful families. They want the best for us and we are all great friends. And, that is how it should be. I really want that for my children. I believe that part of a mother’s role is to provide opportunities for family bonding and to teach children how to be kind and supportive family members. So, one of a million ways to encourage family unity is by…dah, dah, dah…Family Night.
What is Family Night? Family Night is a designated night, once a week (if you can), where you sit down with your family…have a lesson, an activity, and a treat. It’s a great way to spend time together as a family and teach your children about the MOST important things in life; things they don’t learn in school.
Lesson:
What are ways that families support and strengthen each other?
- Your father is usually happy when he comes home from work, but today he seems sort of sad and discouraged.
- You are watching a movie in the family room and notice your mother making dinner for the family.
- You come home from school and the house is a wreck.
- Your sister has a dance recital tomorrow night. You were wanting to play with your friend.
- Your brother is having a hard time with his homework.
6. Your sister is having a hard time making friends at school. She dreads lunch time and especially recess.
- Your parents are planning a family vacation. You’re not that excited.
What can you do if you are having a hard time getting along with and supporting another family member?
Activity:
Jenga
Treats:
Speaking of support (layers) and stacking…how about an easy Chocolate Toffee Trifle? It’s ridiculously easy and yummy!
Want more Family Night ideas? Here’s a few, of the many:
Family Night: Encouraging Optimism in the Family
Family Night: Honesty
Family Night: Loving Nature
For more, check out the Categories page, under “Family Time & Travel”.
Great ideas! I have always been a stickler for my children RESPECTING each other, which means they are not allowed to fight. They can work out issues, but not fight. Each person is entitled to their own opinion without ridicule from others. They aren’t allowed to ignore each other. I am sure to be present enough to notice when one needs some alone time, away from the others. But, other than that they aren’t allowed to “kick each other out of their rooms”, etc. Because of this vigilance, my kids are best friends. In fact, maybe too bestie. They don’t even like to go play with other friends unless the other can come along. It’s wonderful. They are like a little married couple. But that has taken WORK! And people notice all the time how well behaved they are. But it wasn’t because I was sitting on the couch while they went at it all day long.
Good for you! Don’t you love it when you see your kids getting along? Gets you all warm and fuzzy inside 🙂
Building relationships with family is so important especially when the support can change future life events with celebrations and tragedies. And that dessert is to die for….
What a great FHE lesson! THANK YOU! I will be giving this to my sons this Monday night. I have been wondering how to help them get along better and stop fighting so much. SUmmer has been tough. Hopefully this will help them understand better. We try to talk to them alot about being a team. But they don’t quite seem to grasp it.
Thanks again!
A couple things I do to encourage the kids to play together is…one, make life really boring. I tell them that tv and video games are off limits until the evening. They get so bored, they start playing together. Ahhh…. When they get in a big fight with each other, I ground them and their punishment is that they can’t do anything, without each other. (Except, go to the bathroom :)) If someone wants to watch tv, they can’t do it unless the other person does too. They can’t play outside, unless they both go. And, so on. If they can’t figure it out, well, they won’t be doing anything! So, they always end up working together and liking each other again. 🙂
Thanks for commenting!
We have one life long rule that settles everything. Whenever two children are in disagreement, the youngest gets their way. There are several reasons this works.
1. The older one is usually several years older and should have more insight about problem solving and what prevents conflict.
2. The older child takes the responsibility of being a peacemaker. (i.e. Don’t want a two year old screaming for your candy….don’t bring it in front of them.)
3. Life is not fair. Mom should not spend the bulk of her day being a referee. Mom won’t be with you later in life to settle your differences. Children do well when they are given the responsibility of making mature decisions.
Of course, this means that since my husband is older than me, I get my way everytime…(wink, wink).
Interesting! I’ve been pondering this comment for a while now 🙂 It makes sense to me for the older kids, but how do you keep the younger ones (especially, the youngest one) from feeling entitled and being a cry-baby? I really like the part about getting my way with the husband! I can’t imagine all the lengthy foot rubs that I would get.ahhh.
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Actually, the younger ones don’t feel entitled, instead, they feel cared for, safe and non-threatened. The older ones learn very quickly to diffuse the situation because they know they cannot win. Most fighting is over power struggles. In a perfect world, power comes from those who serve others, not fight them. Hope that helps. One of the most frequent compliments over the years of raising 7 children, is “your kids love each other” how did that happen?
i always love your family night ideas!!! thank you!!!
Mariel, Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the nice comments. Family night is a staple at our house too. The kids look forward to it. . . mostly for the treat, but I love that I can sneak in a fun/informative lesson and that we can have fun together. It’s so important in this crazy world.
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