Camille is the adoptive mother of 5 beautiful children and has had a wonderful experience with open adoption. We’re so lucky to have her share her story! If you’re considering placing a child for adoption or adopting a child, we recommend Forever Bound Adoption.

My Experience with Open Adoption
I am the first to admit that I don’t have all the answers when it comes to open adoption, especially as no two situations are the same, but I believe open adoption from my own experience hasbenefited all the parties involved. My children know their birth mother, they know their birth grandmother and they have also met other biologic family members throughout the years. My children’s birth mother has also found comfort knowing where her children are, how they are doing and that they are happy.


Here are 9 helpful tips for you in talking with children about any difficult topic:
2. Initiate conversations with your child. (…Even about sex and sexuality.)
3. Create an open environment.
4. Communicate your own values.
5. Listen to your child.
6. Try to be honest.
7. Be patient.
8. Use everyday opportunities to talk.
9. Talk about it again. And, again.
Wow, an open adoption is great for some. I guess it depends on the situation. My oldest two children are adopted and we chose not to keep contact with the birth family. It was just not a good situation. (Foster care type thing.)My daughter is very aware of the situation and adoption, but my son is not. i always ponder how we will discuss this.
Thank you Camille for sharing your open adoption story. I am the older sister of three adopted siblings. My family did open adoptions as well. Unfortunately it did not last. The birth families either were not consistent in their contact or chose not to continue. It warms my heart to know that your experience has been a positive on going one for you and your family. I look forward to reading more of your blog.
I’m not going to lie, I’m anti-adoption. I’m an adult adoptee, and no, I did not have an unhappy childhood.
That being said, I am glad that you embrace the original identity and heritage of your children. I am glad that they have an on-going, open relationship with their original family and First Mother. I had a closed adoption and no connection to my roots, anyone who looked like me (yes, that matters–a lot), and no on-going family medical history (not fun when you discover a tumor). I had a need to know my First Mother that had no way of being met, and it was painful. No, I did not communicate this need to my parents growing up; I didn’t know how to. There are no words to describe that wound of seperation or how to repair it. It’s just there; it has no labels. I am reunited with her now at the age of 24.
I don’t believe there is anything “better left unsaid” (and I’m one of those adoptees with one of *those* conceptions that people drop there jaws at, so yes-I DO understand bad circumstances). There are age-appropriate times to share everything and everyone, especially adults (because adopted children do grow up!), need the autonomy to decide for THEMSELVES that they are better off not knowing.
Although I disagree with the Melina quote, at least she admits that there are mothers who are coerced. As mothers, this should be something we all are very concerned about.
My book recommendation would be “The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adoptive Child” written by an adoptive parent.
Camille- I think its great you have a special relationship with your children’s birth mom, and that you give them the opportunity to know her. My son is adopted and ours is semi- open. We can send her pictures and letters but she will not contact us. Sometimes I wish we had more contact with her, just so when Sawyer gets older, we have more info to answer his questions. I think every situation is unique, and to choose accordingly. Great post- you have a beautiful family! Your kids are very blessed!
My husband and I have 3 adopted children, 2 from foster care who are biologically related and the 3rd is technically our niece. We’ve talked from the very beginning about adoption, both are open adoptions in their own way. We were given a great book called “Why was I Adopted? by Carole Livingston. It’s fabulous! Our two oldest often ask questions and are almost 8 and 6. They have a right to know, and this book has helped a lot.
Perfect! Thanks, Camille! I agree…I think it’s to their benefit to have an understanding of who they are and where they came from. I think it’s very self-less of you (and the birth mother…cause it’s THEIR option too) to offer them that information. You’re a great mother!
Thanks for sharing this site! What a great on going story to look forward to each day. I am not following!