For many years, Relief Society meetings were structured primarily around the lesson. We would study a talk together, discuss a few questions, and then go home. There is absolutely value in gospel instruction, but recent direction from Church leaders has reminded us that Relief Society meetings are meant to be something more powerful than a classroom experience. They are meant to be a council. That shift changes everything.

Instead of simply talking about gospel principles in theory, we begin to counsel together about real life — about our families, our faith, our struggles, and the needs of the sisters around us. When we do this under the influence of the Spirit, something remarkable happens: revelation that is scattered among many hearts begins to come together. And that revelation helps us act.

Relief Society Discussion Questions and Thoughts for “Counseling Together”

“Heavenly Father meant so much more for His daughters in this space. We are meant to counsel together and to receive the revelation that is scattered among each of us to help one another. There is a reason we’re all in that same geographical space. He knew the problems we would face, and He knows the spiritual and temporal resources that are within our own Relief Societies.”
— Sister Kristen M. Yee

Relief Society Is Meant to Be a Council

The Church handbook and leadership resources have emphasized this idea clearly. We are not simply attending a lesson. We are a council with a purpose.

From the Church website:

When Relief Society truly becomes a council, it allows sisters to bring their experience, insight, and revelation into the conversation. And the Spirit can guide those conversations to meet real needs.

You can read more about this principle here: To Sit In Council

The Purpose of Counseling Together

As we counsel together, we keep these purposes in mind:

• Living the gospel of Jesus Christ

• Caring for those in need

• Inviting all to receive the gospel

• Uniting families for eternity

Those purposes shape the types of conversations we have in Relief Society. Instead of discussions that stay abstract or theoretical, we ask questions that help sisters reflect on their real experiences living the gospel.

Every conversation should also connect back to the Savior. No matter the topic—family life, trials, service, parenting, or discipleship—the discussion should ultimately point us toward Jesus Christ and His power to help us.

Why Questions Matter

One of the simplest ways to create meaningful Relief Society discussions is by asking good questions.

The right question can:

• Invite the Spirit

• Encourage thoughtful reflection

• Help sisters share experiences and grow united

• Reveal practical solutions

• Strengthen testimonies

Below is a large bank of discussion questions that can be used during the counsel portion of a Relief Society meeting. I’ve also created it in a printable form that you can access here: Printable Relief Society Counseling Questions

Relief Society Counseling Questions

1. What is something you did this week that helped you feel closer to the Savior?

2. What scripture or conference message has helped you recently?

3. How do you keep your focus on Christ when life feels overwhelming?

4. How did you feel God’s love this week?

5. What are some wholesome family activities that your family likes to do?

6. How can we increase the desire of the sisters in their ward to have a current temple recommend?

7. What helps you feel comfortable participating in Relief Society?

8. What are small things that help bring peace into your home?

9. How do you help your children or family members develop faith in Christ?

10. What traditions or habits have strengthened your family spiritually?

11. What needs are you noticing in our community right now?

12. How do you recognize the Spirit guiding you in daily decisions?

13. What gospel principle has become more meaningful to you as you’ve gotten older?

14. What do you do when prayer feels difficult or repetitive?

15. What helps you trust the Lord when you don’t understand what’s happening?

16. What scripture has carried you through a difficult time?

17. What is a simple act of kindness that meant a lot to you?

18. How can we better support sisters who live alone?

19. What are ways we can minister to people who don’t attend church anymore?

20. What have you learned about helping someone through grief?

21. What are ways we can include people who are quieter or more introverted?

22. What helps women connect with each other across different life stages?

23. What are ways we can build friendships beyond Sunday meetings?

24. How do you avoid comparing yourself to others?

25. What helps children or teens feel safe talking about their struggles?

26. What have you learned about parenting that surprised you?

27. How do you handle disagreements in a healthy way?

28. What helps families stay connected when schedules are busy?

29. What helps strengthen marriages during stressful times?

30. What small traditions create meaningful family memories?

31. How do you help family members feel valued and appreciated?

32. What have you learned about letting go of perfectionism?

33. What helps you stay motivated when working toward a goal?

34. What is something you are currently trying to improve in your life?

35. What skill or habit has made your life easier?

36. What is something the Lord has been teaching you recently?

37. What are creative ways we could serve our neighborhood?

38. What hobbies or activities help you recharge?

39. What helps you slow down and enjoy life more?

40. How do you incorporate the gospel into daily life outside of Sunday?

41. What has strengthened your testimony recently?

42. What is something you wish you had learned earlier in life?

43. What life skill do you think everyone should learn?

44. What is the best advice someone has given you?

45. What is something you are grateful for this week?

46. What is something you’re currently looking forward to?

47. What has made you laugh recently?

48. How do you keep your testimony strong when you encounter doubts or questions?

49. What gospel principle has changed the way you see other people?

50. What has helped you become more confident in personal revelation?

51. How do you teach children or others to recognize the Spirit?

52. What helps ministering feel natural instead of like an assignment?

53. What makes a ward feel unified?

54. How do you keep faith when prayers seem unanswered?

55. What habits help you protect your peace?

56. What helps you maintain balance between responsibilities and rest?

57. What life experience strengthened your faith the most?

58. What advice would you give your younger self?

59. What are ways we can show appreciation more often in our homes?

60. What helps you remember your divine identity as a daughter of God?

61. What helps you make time for the things that matter most?

62. What simple preparedness steps have made your family feel more secure?

63. How can we include the Young Women better in our ministering program?

64. What helps parents stay calm during difficult parenting moments?

65. What are ways to help children build strong character?

66. What parenting advice has been especially helpful to you?

67. What have you learned about balancing discipline with love?

68. What helps families reduce stress and conflict at home?

69. What are ways to teach responsibility to children?

70. What small daily actions strengthen a marriage?

71. What helps couples keep Christ at the center of their relationship?

72. What advice would you give newly married couples?

73. What study habits help you get more out of the scriptures?

74. What systems or routines have made household responsibilities easier?

75. What homemaking skills have been most valuable to learn?

76. What has helped you find joy in your church calling?

77. What helps you balance Church responsibilities with family life?

78. What blessings have you seen from keeping temple covenants?

79. What helps you prioritize temple worship during busy seasons?

80. What experiences have strengthened your love for the temple?

81. What are natural ways members can support the missionaries in their work?

82. What helps the sacrament feel more meaningful each week?

83. What helps you remember your temple covenants in daily life?

84. How can we help younger sisters or new members feel comfortable preparing for the temple?

85. What moment in your life helped you feel that God truly knew you?

86. What is something the Lord has helped you overcome?

87. What experience helped you understand God’s love more deeply?

88. What have you learned about the Savior’s mercy?

89. What helps you forgive when it feels difficult?

90. What helps you see others the way the Savior sees them?

91. What simple things have you been thankful for lately?

92. Besides the scriptures, what is on your list of favorite church books?

93. What’s something that has inspired you from your family history?

94. What’s something in the gospel that you would like to understand better?

95. What are your favorite supplemental helps for Come Follow Me study?

96. How can we keep Christ the focus on Easter/Christmas?

97. What are your General Conference family traditions?

98. In a world full of lies, how do you discern truth?

99. How do you handle your thoughts when a family members strays from the gospel path?

100. How can we better accept the shortcomings of others and be more patient in our daily lives?

101. How have you made your prayers more meaningful?

Turning Discussion Into Action

One of the most important parts of counseling together is what happens after the discussion. If we just talk and leave it there, the council hasn’t really fulfilled its purpose.

President Jean B. Bingham, former Relief Society General President, taught: “At the end of your council, you need to have assignments. The most important work happens between meetings.”

In other words, when we counsel together and receive impressions from the Spirit, we should also act on those impressions. At the end of the discussion, leaders might invite sisters to consider a simple challenge, such as:

• Reaching out to someone who might need friendship

• Trying a new scripture study habit

• Inviting someone to join them at church

• Strengthening a family tradition

• Serving someone in the ward or neighborhood

These small commitments turn discussion into discipleship.

What If No One Talks? Encouraging Participation in Relief Society

Almost every Relief Society teacher or leader has experienced this moment: you ask a thoughtful question… and the room goes completely silent. It can feel awkward, but it’s actually very normal. Many sisters want to participate—they may just feel shy, need time to think, or wonder if their thoughts are worth sharing. A quiet room doesn’t necessarily mean the question didn’t hit home. Sometimes the discussion just needs a little help getting started.

Give Sisters Time to Think

Often people simply need a moment to reflect. Instead of quickly filling the silence, allow a few seconds for people to think. A short pause can give someone the confidence to speak. You might even say, “Let’s take a moment to think about that.”

A GREAT way to give the sisters time to think is to send out the council questions before the lesson via whatever communication method you use: email, text, Circles, GroupMe, etc. Have them think about it a few days before Sunday comes.

Share a Simple and Personal Example First

If the room feels hesitant, it can help for the teacher to share a brief example. Hearing a simple, sincere answer often helps others realize their experiences are valuable too. When a Relief Society leader or teacher is open and vulnerable, it helps the other sisters feel like they can do the same.

Consider Your Questions

Most silence after a question comes from sisters either being unsure what the question means, feeling nervous about speaking up, or assuming the answer is too obvious to share. So, before you even ask the question, make sure it’s clear what is being asked and that it’s a good enough question to inspire more than just “basic” responses. To alleviate nerves, be vulnerable and open, when presenting the question.

Ask Sisters to Share Ahead of Time

Before Sunday evening comes, consider the nature of the question and reach out to a couple of sisters to specifically invite them to share their thoughts during the discussion topic. The more often someone speaks up, the easier it gets for them. Sometimes that initial personal invitation can get the ball rolling for more discussion in future councils.

Acknowledge Every Contribution

When someone does speak up, simply thanking them for sharing helps create a safe environment where others feel more comfortable participating. Over time, as sisters see that their thoughts are valued, participation naturally increases.

Even when discussions are quieter, meaningful things can still happen. The goal isn’t to force conversation—it’s to create a space where sisters can strengthen one another and feel the Spirit together.

Relief Society Is a Place of Revelation

Relief Society has always been much more than a weekly meeting. It is a gathering of covenant women who bring unique spiritual gifts, life experience, and inspiration.

When we truly counsel together:

• The Spirit teaches us.

• Sisters feel heard and valued.

• Practical solutions emerge.

• Faith grows stronger.

• The Savior becomes the center of our conversations.

And just as Sister Kristen M. Yee taught, Heavenly Father placed us in our wards and Relief Societies on purpose. He knows the needs we will face. And He also knows the spiritual and temporal resources that exist within the women sitting beside us each Sunday. When we counsel together in faith, those resources begin to unfold—and Relief Society becomes exactly what the Lord intended it to be.

For even more Relief Society helps, check out:

• The Most Effective Relief Society Service Committee
• Mother’s Day Relief Society Lesson Idea
• Unique Latter-day Saint Calling Ideas

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