You know how I like to poke fun at men, i.e. “Sharing a Bathroom with a Man“. Well, in all seriousness…I love men, especially mine. He brings so much happiness to my life. But, isn’t there always something in a marriage that you can improve on? Of course, there is. I have set a personal goal to compliment my dude WAY more and I’m hoping to inspire you to do the same. So, today’s post is on…complimenting your spouse.
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” – Mark Twain
Women seem to have a knack for being observant and noticing faults in others. Have you ever noticed that many of our least favorite things about men are also are favorite things?? For example, I love how “manly” my husband is but sometimes I wish he wasn’t so manly so I could convince him to wear something other than jeans & a t-shirt. I love how brave he is…but on the other hand, sometimes I wish he wasn’t so much because I don’t want him to hurt himself AND I don’t like how it makes me look like a huge wuss when I won’t go along. I love that he is attracted to me but on the other hand…sometimes I’m just too dang tired or stuck in “mommy mode”. Anyway, you get the drift.
But, it’s kinda the same deal with fault-finding. I’m always wondering why men don’t “notice” things…like that I’m the only one cleaning up and company is coming over, or that the baby has poopie pants and is stinking up the house, or I’m losing my freakin’ mind and need help! But, how great is it that men often aren’t that observant…because they sure would notice a lot of our faults! How would marriages ever work if men WERE as observant as us?? We would want to kick each other’s butts all day long! It’s pretty rare that Dan gets after me for all the annoyances I create in his life, and I don’t know that he even notices…but, I could write post after post of all the things men need to get a clue about! How sad! Hence, the reason I am vowing to be more complimentary to him. Although, I still reserve the right to tease men, in general…get ready for “Sharing the Bathroom with a Man, Round 2“…it’s coming! Sorry, Dan. I’m a woman and I notice things. Thank you for not.
So, think about some of the compliments you have received recently…think about how it made you feel. I know when I receive a compliment I feel “supercharged” to try harder to live up to it. I feel humbled, grateful, and a sense of purpose. All good things to feel, right? Well, make your husband feel that way…every day! It will only improve your marriage. Maybe you are thinking that your dude doesn’t deserve any compliments…you are wrong. Surely, you are wrong…unless, he beats you. Then all he deserves is a body-slam on a bed of nails that is set on fire in a pit of hungry lions who have rabies during mating season.
Maybe you are thinking that he doesn’t compliment you so why should you compliment him? Lame. The only person you can control is yourself, so YOU make the initiative to improve things. Think about the good qualities he has, the talents he has, the knowledge he has, something fabulous he has done that day, or how hot you think he is…and let him know! Even better…compliment him in front of other people! Doesn’t it make you feel so loved when your husband says something kind about you to his friends? I love that! Whether he does it or not…YOU can, and you will see your marriage change dramatically for the better.
Ya know what’s interesting…men are similar to dogs in this way (cute, sweet puppy dogs, of course)…but they both respond so well to praise. Dog rolls over, dog sits, dog shakes…all because of the praise or reward they receive. Husband washes dishes, husband changes diapers, husband cooks dinner because they want a treat and/or maybe they are just super fabulous. They have learned in the past that those things might earn them a treat…so, why not repeat the same behavior? The funniest is when you don’t notice and they have to come tell you…”Hey honey, did you see I just changed the baby’s diaper?” and then a few minutes later they are grabbing your butt, hoping for a positive response. Anyway, what I’m getting at is there is another bonus to complimenting besides having a happier husband and marriage…the more praise you dish out, the more you will get what you want (you just might have to give a “treat” too).
So, let’s set a goal. Every day you must pay a compliment to your husband. Some days, shake things up and say it in front of other people. Don’t be insincere because it will show! I seriously might have to write it on my hand to make sure I pay special attention (My mind is usually focused on laundry, football practices, diapers, etc.). It would be sad to let a day pass where I didn’t tell him in some way that he was wonderful.
Can you do it? Try it with me.
And, when you’re a pro complimenting the husband…perfect it with the children…then take it to the streets! While working on this post I found this totally inspirational and funny video of these guys on a mission to make the world a better place by complimenting.
Sheesh! I should be a therapist, huh? Validate me.
Awesome post! I totally agree with everything you said. Dan’s lucky to have such an awesome wife, and I’m lucky to have such a great sister-in-law. Now I’m off to compliment my man …
I have NEVER heard you poke fun at men!! I think we all can learn a valuable lesson here: you get more bees with honey! Besides they deserve getting a little praise now and then- we just don’t want it to go to their heads!
I was just thinking something along these lines earlier this week… great post!
As with anything in life when you focus on the negative that’s all you find. When you focus on the positive that’s what you find… and it gets reciprocated so it really does make a big difference in the marriage!
suburban hippie mama says
I love the bit about men are like dogs…so true…:)
great post! thanks for reminding me that I need to compliment my husband. The part about husbands telling us that they changed a diaper cracked me up! My husband does that all the time, along with the butt grabbing 🙂
You should be a therapist…but then I probably wouldn’t be able to afford you so just keep doing what you are doing….GIVING FREE ADVICE!
You guys are hysterical and so dead on. You are my new favorite blog. Love YOU
well said! i’m engaged and i def notice that when i notice the positive, more of it keeps coming. girls can be tough to please! great post! love your site!