I am Lacking Productivity, but, in the real world, people call me Kira.
I am a twenty-something, who clearly doesn’t care about regular 6-week cuts and colors (because I will still allow photos to be taken of me, long after the re-growth is more than evident).
I have an adorable husband, who married me because I am the perfect combination of both sugar mamma and trophy wife.
I love funny movies and desserts.
I like crew neck sweaters (even though I should have stopped wearing them along with the rest of the planet circa 1997), but then again, I like the unusual and bizarre, and I’m still not sure what people mean when they say, “only you can get away with wearing something like that, Kira,” but I pretend like it is a tribute to my quintessentially unique sense of style.
And I am honored to be guest posting today.
I hate shopping for pants. On my own blog, I have discussed this issue on more than one occasion.
Because of my hatred of pant shopping, I have replaced the enemy with skirts and dresses as often as possible, because skirts and dresses do not follow the pant code that apparently assumes that having bodacious thighs, voluptuous hips, and long legs (see why I said trophy wife?) also means you need to have 2/3 of length on your pants taken up by the crotch of the pants…but I digress.
Luckily for me, time spent in dresses and skirts is not also time in nylons, because, though I will try to deceive you into thinking that I have a tan (or that I even can tan for that matter), I will not pretend that “nude” in the nylon world looks anything remotely like my natural skin color.
So, before I get back into leg-flashing skirts again full-time (because where I live, we are still only getting teased with glimpses of spring), here are my faves for legs (spring 2010 edition):
Before you shower:
• Baby Oil/Baby Oil Gel: If you have dry skin, try coating your skin in baby oil before you hop in the shower, then wash as usual.
Having damp skin from the shower helps the oil absorb, but you don’t have to deal with greasy or sticky skin (or look like you are posing for a muscle magazine) from the oil, because you clean off the excess before you hop out.
While showering:
• Salt: You have probably heard of the benefits of salt for your skin, but I swear by the stuff. Salt has worked wonders for the crazy bumps on my arms, dry knees and elbows, and cracked heals.
I like to keep regular, cheap-o, generic, not-even-epsom-cause-I-don’t-care, table salt in the bathroom to use as an exfoliant in the shower. Just pour some salt in your hands, and rub it on damp, trouble areas to eliminate dead or dry skin, then rinse. If you haven’t done this in the past, you will probably feel a difference after the first time; keep it up, and you will have the knees of a shaving cream model in no time (just watch out for sores or scratches…you know, the whole “salt in the wound” thing…bad idea).
• Victoria Secret Squeaky Pink Shower Shave Body Wash: I know, I know, it’s a 2-in-1 typically meaning quasi-half-worker on both ends…but not here, ladies.
• Aveeno Positively Smooth Shave Gel: If you aren’t up for dishing out double digits on Squeaky Pink (though it will last you), this Aveeno will rock your socks off too.
It is made with soy, which has been shown to reduce and lighten hair in studies, and from my experience, it seriously works. I noticed a significant difference in how my legs felt after shaving as well as how much longer it took for my hair to grow back once I changed from regular shaving cream (and by “regular shaving cream,” I mean my husband’s cheap .$93 Barbasol) to this.
After showering:
Because my legs are the unfortunate color of raw scallops, I have to coat them in a little cream “smoke and mirrors,” to make them borderline tolerable.
• Tinted Lotions: There are tons of daily moisturizers that add some color to your skin (like Jergens Natural Glow) and even some generics. I don’t hate any of them, and actually like most of them pretty well, but I do have suggestions for all of them. (These rules also apply to any skin tinting product).
The fact that the product is called a lotion is deceptive, because it makes you feel like you can use them anytime, anywhere. This is not true. You should really only use these products after showering. Clean and smooth skin is the best palette (if you will) to paint on.
If you have dry skin, use these products after using another moisturizer. The color tends to stick to dry areas or creases in the skin; having moisturized skin significantly reduces the risk of having orange-y patches on your legs.
Only use the tint a few times a week. Daily use tends to become streaky and patchy.
Pat (don’t rub) your legs dry when you get out of the shower. This will keep the product where it should be.
Be conscious of where you are putting the product. People tend to only put lotion on the tops of their arms, or unevenly on their legs, but when your moisturizer has a tint to it, we can all see exactly where you start and stop, unless your coverage is all-over even.
And one final product, because the tiny wisps of color you get from the drug store lotions just aren’t enough for some of us…
• St. Tropez Self-Tan Bronzing Lotion: Liquid courage for your legs, my friends. Liquid courage for your legs.
Because this stuff leans on the pricey side of things (for this cheap-skate, at least), this product is a luxury, but worth search for it and the investment (I like when people call expensive things an “investment,” it makes me feel like I am actually making a wise financial choice for my family’s future). St. Tropez lotion is dark brown in color so it looks like your hands are covered in…nevermind…but it will almost instantly tan you (which I love, because I don’t plan my outfits 3-5 days in advanced giving time to get sun-kissed from other tan-in-a-can products), and the color is natural and totally convincing.
I hope these tips and products help you show your legs a little more often this summer…or just save you some sanity by ditching the jean shopping, going for a breezy skirt instead.
Peace,
Lacking Productivity