I put this first because this is what I have the hardest time with. I don’t like to cook, and I’m a horrible cook. I cop out a lot and often choose the easiest meals, and we eat out more than we should. This year, I made a New Year’s Resolution to cook more. I actually make this resolution EVERY year. Despite my shortcomings in this area, my husband knows that I am trying. We try to sit down at the table for our meals, turn the TV off, and discuss our day. It sounds so simple, but to be honest with you, meals like this were few and far between in my first marriage. A couple weeks before Wyatt’s accident, his mother claimed that he was “so skinny!” and asked, “Is he even eating?” She obviously didn’t mean any offense to me and was clearly more concerned about his overall health, but after that, I swore I would never get to the point in a marriage where my mother-in-law voiced her concerns about her son not eating!
Picking your battles and forgiveness:
Another book I love and refer to often is “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John M. Gottman. Gottman claims there are two types of marital conflict: Those that can be resolved and those that are perpetual, which means they will always be a part of your lives. Gottman states, “The basis for coping effectively with either kind of problem is the same: communicating basic acceptance of your partner’s personality. . . I have learned that in all arguments, both solvable and perpetual, no one is ever right.” I think of this principle often, and more times than not, I realize there is usually no concrete resolution. I usually end up apologizing for unwarranted behavior and moving on, but most importantly, I DO NOT HOLD A GRUDGE. It’s not always easy, but when it’s over, it’s over.
Creating a Will/Discussing Belongings and Assets: