It might make ya feel like a meanie-pants but I seriously believe you are doing your kids (and their future spouse) a huge disservice by not having them do regular chores. I think the values of hard work, sensitivity and respect of others hard work, team work, cleanliness, and family contribution are best instilled in the home. Besides that…there is no reason why we (mothers) need to be cleaning up after everyone and doing everything around the house ourselves! Can I hear a big “Amen”?!? Get those kids contributing! You will be saving your sanity and buildingtheir character! Win-Win.
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Okay, I know…I know…it’s a chore just GETTING kids to do chores, right? Well, yes. But, the sooner you start, the easier…and, it’s never too late. The key is consistency!! If you are too inconsistent with having them do chores your kids won’t see the value of their hard work. A home should look mostly presentable and be sanitary. On the other hand, don’t be a Cleaning-Nazi. You have to find a middle ground and be understanding that you run a home with REAL children in it. You have to expect and learn to be okay with everything not being perfect. It can all be “perfect” when they move out. But, don’t make their lives miserable because of a character flaw you might have.
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Jessica did a great post, a while back, on “Age Appropriate Chores For Kids“.
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Here’s how it works at my house… We done several chore charts in the past but I have found that I am most consistent without one. Everyday…when I’m ready to be a “chore-hound”…I yell out to the dudes that it’s “job time”. I have found that I am more inconsistent if I try to have them done at a certain time every day…because I am not always ready at that time to monitor their chores. I have to be flexible and when I’m ready then the chores start. They each have two jobs a day. Rather than having assigned tasks, I just look around and see what actually needs to be done and give them each two chores. When they are done, I “inspect” them to make sure they were done in a pleasing manner. This is a great teaching moment…showing them how to do things well and what they need to pay special attention to. The more you do these inspections, the better they will do at their jobs. Again, don’t be a nut. You don’t need to nit-pick every little speck of dust you see. But, show them overall what is a pleasing way for the room to look.
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Always, always praise them for a job well done (after it’s “well done”).
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Some ideas of chores my kids do: Clean the playroom, Clean their bedroom, Clean a bathroom, Spot mop the kitchen floor, Dust the window sills, Water the plants, Learn with mom, Read a book, Watch a learning show, Wash mirrors, Pick up all the toys in the house and put them away, Get all the crap out of the car, Empty the garbage throughout the house, Pull weeds, Put their basket of clean clothes away in their closets, etc.
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Of course, chores don’t have to come with rewards. But, I personally like to give my kids an allowance for doing their chores. I always remember what a bummer it was being a kid, not being able to have a job, and never having my own money. I want my kids to learn money management and also to be able to enjoy the fruits of their labor. They can earn $5 dollars a week…which is a dollar for each day they do their jobs (Monday – Friday). We play Saturday and don’t work on Sunday. If they would like to earn more money then they can do “bonus jobs”.
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They are never given money for random, immediate help I need around the house. In those
circumstances I tell them they are “part of the family and they need to help”.
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So, kids lose money. That’s what I’ve noticed. “I thought it was in my pocket cause I took it to Austin’s house to show him and we played outside and now I can’t remember where I put it.” So, I started just tallying their earnings in my head…but, of course I would lose track. I would keep a list on the fridge and forget to write it down. But, we have finally come up with a system that we love!
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Check it out…
The Caden Dollar
And, the Audrey Dollar.
Do you love it?? Go to this web site, Festisite, and you can print off dollars with your little dudes faces in them for FREE! I saved it into Publisher, putting 3 on a page, and printed off a bunch! I have an envelope for each kid hanging on the pantry door where we keep their “fake” earnings. When they are ready to buy something they give me their bucks back and I buy whatever it is they want with some real money.
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* If you are having a hard time teaching your kid to save their money for something special instead of spending it on $1 junkie toys, try this…let them go on to Amazon.com, scroll through the toys and pick something they really want. Print it off, hang it on the fridge and put the price at the top. Whenever they earn some bucks, cross out the price and put how many more dollars they need to earn underneath. Encourage them not to spend their money until they have enough to buy their special item. They will be so happy to have earned something they have always wanted.
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Like I said earlier, I’ve come to realize I’m more consistent without charts. But, if you are feeling the love…check out this game! It’s a magnetic chart that you put on your fridge. Each child is given a game piece and the chores they do let them advance to the end…hopefully, to earn a prize.
The Chore Board Game, $10.19
Good luck to you!! Feel free to share what’s worked in your home!
Great ideas!! We really like the token system.
http://www.vanessachristenson.com/2008/03/so-you-want-to-know-about-token-system.html
Very good ideas! I try to get my son to make his bed every morning, but sometimes we’re just too rushed to get out of the house. But, he is totally into saving money, so I think that will definitely motivate him. Those dollars are awesome!! (Just make sure he doesn’t try to spend them at the store, yo?)
Great reminder, thanks, Mariel!
Another great post! I hope I can remember all your ideas….my kiddo is only 1! Is that too early too start?? J/K
One thing about this particular line:
“They are never given money for random, immediate help I need around the house. In those
circumstances I tell them they are ‘part of the family and they need to help.'”
I think some parents (aka MY parents) tend to abuse this when it comes to older kids. I can’t tell you how many times my mom barked that line to me growing up.
When I was little, I got $1 A WEEK for doing chores – and that money could be taken away from me too as punishment. It took FOREVER to save up any sort of money to buy something.
When I became a teenager up until I got fed up and moved out at 20, my parents refused to let me or my sister get a job (and therefore no money to buy a car or anything else for that matter.) (I had a job when I went to college, away from home) Our chores were:
-to take care of our infant siblings (a boy and a girl)incessantly – take them to and from school, get them dressed, feed and bathe them, clean their rooms and play with them.
– do all the dishes (for all meals, seven days a week)
– all the family (of 6) laundry (one week I’d be in charge of the dishes and my sister would be in charge of the laundry or vise versa)
– we each had to deep clean a bathroom every Sunday.
We received $10 a week – to be paid every two weeks for this work… my mom makes six figures… so it’s not as if my parents are poor and couldn’t afford to give us a real allowance.
Just because kids are young doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get paid an appropriate wage – if your kindergartner helps with dishes and you have a large family, give them a couple extra bucks more than say dusting + making their bed every day.
Also, don’t forget, your children aren’t your slaves, nor are they your maid. Please don’t joke to your children and tell them that when they have kids, they’ll have “personal slaves” too. If you’re a parent, please do your fair share of chores too. There is nothing more infuriating than seeing your stay at home parent take a nap and play solitaire all day while you manage and cook for your siblings while doing upteen loads of laundry on top of studying for a test.
Bella,
I agree! I totally think kids should be able to earn money at home and it should never be taken away as a punishment. Also, that chores shouldn’t be an all day, grueling task.
The word “earn” is important because that is how life works. It’s not very often that you can get something for nothing. So, chores are a great way for kids to earn money and learn about life. Obviously, some parents take it too far (like I mentioned in the post) and turn into “Cleaning-Nazis”. Childhood is such a fun time and kids should have time to enjoy it!
It’s true that parents can take unfair advantage of their kids but also there is a problem when kids take advantage of their parents (in regards to the line you quoted). There have been plenty of times in my home where I have asked for the help of my kids and they say, “what are you going to pay me??” And, to me…that’s not right. I will pay them for their chores and even extra for “bonus chores” but not for the times where I just need some extra help. That is where the part comes in where “they are part of the family”. They don’t need to be paid for every finger they lift. But, of course they should be treated fairly as I expect them to treat me fairly.
Thanks for expanding on this post!
Mariel
Marie,
Fun idea on your token system! Thanks for leaving the link!
Mariel
This post couldn’t have been better timed. 🙂 I appreciate the advice, really. I will take your pointers and use them, and let you know how it goes!
Amen! Loved your post. And I LUV the personalized money idea, so cool! Thanks!
I love the money idea! Nice post girl!
Amen Sista. I like the money idea too, I think I will start implementing that at my house when Macy is big enough.
I love the fake dollar idea, and I agree chore charts are even more of a chore than just seeing how they can help.
Thanks for the link to the money generator. My kids will love it.
LOVE your ideas! Thanks 🙂