Yay, he’s finally here! Our little Joseph came to join the fam last Tuesday, the 12th. It was a long labor but it’s so fun to finally have him (don’t I look tired??) Excuse the crappy, grainy hospital shot…oh, and I’m sure you’re grateful that I covered my boob for you. You’re welcome.
Hollllllllllllllly cow. I can’t believe I have 5 kids!
He’s a superstar around our house…the kids are constantly bickering over who gets to hold him next. I guess that’s a good thing 🙂
Anyway, so there he is. We love him!
On to my post…
I’ve been thinking a lot about kids lately (figuring out a routine), my cramping uterus and exploding boobs, avoiding colds in my house, hosting a Halloween shin-dig (can someone do a post for me on saying “no”??) and homeschool. I’ve put lots of thought into making sure all my kiddos feel important and special during this “new baby time”…but, oh yeah…I have a husband too. I think we all have those times where we get so occupied with life that we forget to keep our marriage top priority. SO…when I stumbled upon this super-perfect list of ways to love your husband, it was a great reminder to me of the blessing he is and a perfect chance to open a dialogue with the Beard Man…we want to make sure our marriage doesn’t get lost in the shuffle. Life gets so busy!
So, here’s what you do…
Print off the list. Hand it to your hubby with a highlighter. Have him read through the whole list and highlight his top 10 favorite things on there. Then have him rank them 1 to 10, in order of favorites. Take the list back and really think about what he wants from you and make darn sure that you are putting lots of time and effort into meeting his needs. What?? You have needs too?? Oh, well…this isn’t about you, this time. Despite his faults and the fact he can sleep peacefully while you’re up all night with the kids…forget about you and you’ll notice how life just seems better. Be open minded to his top picks and use the info to improve your marriage, rather than be offended. It’s an assignment. Let me know what you learn…and so will I!
100 Ways for Loving Your Husband ~ HIS Way
1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (Dave Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion and giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. So try to make the first few minutes a positive experience. (And then ease into the negative if it’s necessary.)
17. Give him half an hour to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. Be the one to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Remember that love protects
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief when he’s tired—sometimes men can feel “flooded” by too many words).
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).
46. Give him time to unwind for a little while after he comes home from work. Arrange ahead of time to take your “time out”, giving him a few minutes with the children.
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him— let him sleep in, bring him coffee and/or breakfast in bed, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind. (Family’s are spared grief when a husband isn’t required to read their wife’s mind despite the fact that the wife thinks he should.)
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff. (He may view them as more important than you realize.)
83. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief when he’s tired—sometimes men can feel “flooded” by too many words).
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).
46. Give him time to unwind for a little while after he comes home from work. Arrange ahead of time to take your “time out”, giving him a few minutes with the children.
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him— let him sleep in, bring him coffee and/or breakfast in bed, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind. (Family’s are spared grief when a husband isn’t required to read their wife’s mind despite the fact that the wife thinks he should.)
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff. (He may view them as more important than you realize.)
83. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.
This is absolutely fantastic! I love my husband…and taking the time for him!
Five kids…congratulations!
I was so nervous to step into 5…but OH HOW WONDERFUL!!! I’m addicted! I could take 5 more! Have fun and enjoy!
Thanks for the list!!
CONGRATULATIONS! You look absolutely beautiful, Mama of 5!!!
Thanks for this list…it’s wonderful!
Congratulations on your new baby boy!
Wow, I had no idea you had so many kids. You are an amazing mom! And your husband an amazing dad.This post was a good reminder of the things we should do everyday to remind our hubby that we appreciate and love him. In the course of a busy day we can sometimes forget. Thanks for the list!
Five kids! Wow! Congratulations on your baby.. so so exciting! Your children are beautiful and such a blessing.
I love the encouraging things to do for your husband. I have kept that site and will refer back to it later. I’m getting married soon and this is wonderful! I forwarded it on to all my married friends 🙂
The most amazing book Ive read yet for marriages is the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Its all about discovering your spouse’s “love Language” (or, what makes them feel the most loved). By discovering this and then feeding that need, they are fulfilled and it does wonders. Its best if both partners read it, discover one another’s love language and work towards filling the others love tank. It revolutionized our marriage but its hard work! Anything worth fighting for is:)
Sarah
HandbagsnPigtails.blogspot.com
Thank you for posting these great tips….it is to easy to take one another for granted…appreciate the tips. Blessings to you!
Congratulations!! They are all beautiful. I had 5 by the time I was 30. Then I had one more when I was 43. I tell him he is the best surprise ever.
He is gorgeous, Mariel! I can’t believe you have FIVE! You’re amazing. Congrats!
Great post.
Congratulations on the new addition to your sweet family.
I feel as though you somehow read my mind as just yesterday I heard a line that really resonated with me, “Sometimes Dads are like babies–they need attention too.” I really need to do better here.
Thanks.
Wow! I had to bookmark this. It warrants re-reading often. There are so many tips that I want to remember to do more often or try out for the first time. Thanks for such an insightful and inspiring post. Especially in light of what you just went through! 😉 Congratulations! He is darling and you have a beautiful family.
I second the ‘Love Languages’ book — both my husband and I have read it at least twice, and it is fabulous. I honestly don’t even have to get specific, I just have to ask how his ‘love tank’ is, and I know exactly how to fill it back up if it’s a little low.
Congrats on your new babe!
Such a timely post for me. Thank you.
Congrats on your baby! He’s so cute!
awesome list – gonna run down to the desktop (the one connected to the printer!) to print it out!!
and congrats – from one harried mom of 5 to another 🙂
Congratulations on your adorable new baby boy! You are a fabulous-looking mama of 5.
Love this list too. It’s so important to keep your marriage in check!
Congratulations on such a beautiful baby boy! And for reaching number 5! I’m getting ready to step into life with number 2 =)
Also, thank you for the list, it’s exactly what we need right now!
First off…HE IS ADORABLE!!! Congrats!
Love this list. I need to print it off. It is fabulous!
I was hoping for more boob in this post. Dangit.
But great post, I just showed the list to my husband so he can mull it over. I can always try to be a better wife and friend to him. Thanks!
Congrats again on baby Joseph. My brother is lucky to be married to such a wonderful lady! Love ya!
Congrats again on baby Joseph. My brother is lucky to be married to such a wonderful lady! Love ya!
WhaT A Great List! ThanksForTheReminder
Tired??? You look beautiful, Dear. Love the list and, every woman should print and post this in HER bathroom or her walk-in closet so she sees it everyday. If more people took time to appreciate, as well as love, their spouse, families would not be breaking up like they do today. Thank you. Continued happiness and success with your beautiful family and your blog. Big hugs, Girl, and take a little time for you. ♥♥♥
Dang, what a NICE comment. Thanks so much for stopping by.
Love love love the list! You family is beautiful!!! Thanks for sharing!
Aw, thank you!!
Love your blog: discovered this in my grad school classroom tonight and am a newly wed. I love how you write and how God is using your experiences to encourage women like and unlike me. Thank you! Learning all about being a wife and even your section on natural family planning!
Thanks so much, Ashley! I love comments like this! Come back any time. Glad you love the blog!
Congratulations on the beautiful family! They are all truly a blessing. Thanks for posting the list on treasuring your Husband – I know mine is the core of our family and a real treasure. I try to remind him as often as I can of his value within our ‘unit’ and how much he’s loved. Keep up the good work! Also, any posts on blended families? I’m a step-mother to a truly unique but challenging beautiful 15 year old girl and I could use some tips!
Thanks, Michelle! And, yes… this is an awesome post on blended families: https://oneshetwoshe.com/2014/01/10-tips-for-a-happy-blended-family.html
Thanks, great list. Do you have one for me to give my wife and have her do the same thing?
I don’t… but, that’s a great idea for a blog post!!