Hi! I’m Lindsay. And I’m thrilled to posting on this excellent blog!
The first thing you need to know about me is that I’m Jessica’s sister’s husband’s cousin’s wife. (Got that?) Quite the claim to fame, huh? Such a claim that I don’t even think Jessica knows that.
Besides that, I’m a California girl at heart who is happily living in Colorado with the cute little family you see above. My five and three-year old rascals and my one-year old little lady make me crazy-happy, crazy-exhausted and just plain crazy. To stay somewhat sane, I run (I LOVE to run), bake cookies, eat chocolate, read anything and everything, blog and spend time with my patient, supportive, hot and just plain awesome hubby.
As I considered what to share with you all, I kept coming back to the one thing I’ve spent way too much time thinking about this past year and not nearly enough time actually doing: SLEEP.
Please note Exhibit A:
Almost all of the time, I think she’s pretty darn cute. Except when it’s 3 AM and she’s awake. And screaming. We’ve done all sorts of things to get this girl to sleep. And she’s still not having it. But, in the meantime, I’ve read a TON of baby sleep books and I thought I’d give a little review on some of my favorites. I know there are many of you moms who’s babies sleep just fine and you’ve got the whole sleep thing down. But, I’m thinking that there may be a few of you who don’t yet. (I always hope I’m not the only one!) So if you’re looking for a good baby sleep book, here’s my take on a few of them:
Sleepless in America by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
This book is one of my favorites and it’s actually even more helpful for older children than for babies (although her advice applies well to babies, too). Kurcinka writes about the idea that many children with behavioral problems don’t actually have a behavior problem, but rather a sleep problem. Life is way too busy and often parents contribute to their child’s lack of sleep by not allowing them the right conditions for sleep. Kurcinka discusses the factors that affect sleep (time, tension, temperament) and how to work with these factors to promote the best sleeping condition for your child. It gave me a lot of great insight as to how important sleep is, what affects sleep and how sleeps needs to be a priority for my children’s well being.
The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
This is a good one for parents who feel uneasy about letting their baby cry it out. (I’m one of those, although I have tried that, too!) Pantley’s approach is very gradual and very gentle. Her method is more that of sleep teaching rather than training. It involves getting your baby used to less and less parental intervention so that he no longer needs your help to sleep. This method is not quick (think weeks–or even months–rather than days) and it requires a lot of patience and endurance. But I like Pantley’s perspective and the book has a good variety of ideas on how to get your baby sleeping better.
The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program by Polly Moore, Ph.D
Dr. Moore’s book has an interesting concept: all babies follow a 90 minute wake/sleep cycle. Moore references scientific research to theorize that from birth, 90 minutes after they wake, babies are ready to sleep again. As they grow, they start to increase their wakeful periods in 90 minute increments, to 3 hours or 4 1/2 hours. If you put your baby down for sleep according to these intervals, it will be much easier for her to go to sleep and she will get all the sleep she needs. I started this with my babe when she about 9 months old and she does seem ready for sleep about 3 hours after she wakes up. One of Moore’s points that I like most is that a well-rested baby will be much easier to sleep train when the time comes for that. I plan to try her 90 minute plan whenever I have another newborn.
The Baby Sleep Book by William Sears, M.D., Robert Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N.
I have to admit, I’m a big fan of the Sears family. Their ideas are not for everyone, but I think the underlying concept behind them is important for every mom: follow your instincts! The Searses believe that moms (and dads) who are in tune with their babies will know (or learn) the best way to get their babies to sleep. This book is decidedly anti-cry it out, so you’ll have to keep that in mind if you read it. But, I think it explains well why babies sleep the way they do and it helps parents have reasonable expectations. It gives ideas on what to do in variety of situations, like if a baby wants to nurse all night. It also encourages you to consider alternative sleep arrangements so that everyone in the family can get enough sleep.
Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi A. Mindell, Ph.D
Mindell seems to be everywhere–baby websites, on TV, in parenting magazines. She definitely has practical, no-nonsense advice on getting your baby to sleep, which you’ll find in this book. Her method has been said to be a “gentler” cry it out method. Instead of just leaving the baby to cry alone forever, you go check on the baby in intervals that you decide upon. I like that, because it lets you decide what is best for your baby. Mindell stresses the idea that if your baby goes to sleep by himself, he will start sleeping through the night fairly soon. Unfortunately, this has not been the case with my girlie (she goes to sleep without anyone there, but still wakes up frequently), but I know it works for a lot of babies, and I’m hopeful that it will eventually help my baby get there.
Great Expectations: Baby Sleep Guide by Sandy Jones & Marcie Jones
This book is a good overall reference for everything related to a baby’s sleep, from research to methods to products. If you want an overview on several of the different methods out there, this book will give it to you. I like that it doesn’t really promote one idea over another, but instead just gives them all to you, with their pros and cons, and lets you decide what will work for you and your baby.
And there you have it! There are A LOT of other books out there, but I’ve chosen these because I feel that, generally, they don’t promote a “one-size-fits-all” ideology. Every baby is different and every mom is different. You decide what helps your baby (and you!) sleep the best. It’s true what they say–Mother does know best!
-Lindsay
Megan says
Thank you! My little boy is almost 8 months old, and not sleeping through the night. He wakes up about 3 times a night. I read the no cry sleep solution recently and liked it. I’ve read most of the others also, and I think I’ll read Sleepless in America next. My son and I came to a compromise in which I get to sleep mostly through the night even though he wakes up, but now he’s getting up for the day way earlier than I would like, so we are going to have to rethink things again.
Emily says
Thank you for sharing what you’ve researched! My little girl (who just turned one) goes to sleep just fine (most nights) but wakes up during the night (four times last night. . . .) Hope your little one decides to sleep.
Mariel says
My best piece of advice: always try and put your baby to sleep when they are awake. Don’t make a habit out of rocking them, walking them, singing them, or nursing them to sleep. They become dependent on it and though it may be sweet and cute sometimes…they won’t learn to go to sleep on their own.
Also, get them used to some sort of “white noise”, whether it be womb noise, ocean sounds, a fan, whatever. Its calming and helps them sleep longer and deeper.
Lastly, don’t be afraid to let them cry. If you check on them and see/know that nothing is wrong…let them cry. They will get tired and fall back asleep…on their own…which, is what you want them to learn! Every time it happens, the crying duration will likely get less and less. It’s okay…you’re still a good mom!
Oh, one last thing….do everything possible to avoid children sleeping in your bed! Your husband, your back, and your tired self will thank you for it. Kids are such creatures of habit. They like repetition and rituals…don’t let pampering their poor sleeping habits be one of them! Sheesh…why don’t I just do a post on this? Maybe I will.
The Wifey says
yay Lindsay! Great job! Great information.
Jessica says
I love the book The Happiest Baby On The Block- both of my kids sleep great! Thanks Lindsay!
J.D., Micah, {and} Jonnie says
I think the biggest thing with sleep and things like it are getting the parents in control of the situation. For 11 months, my daughter RAN THE SHOW. About a month after my she was born…{now 13 months} our lives turned crazy and in the process of moving we were living in limbo for about 5 months…{several hotels, parents’ houses, friends place} so incidentally my daughter ended up in our bed. It was fine at the time, except for the fact that she was latched on almost the entire night. She became a complete comfort nurser so when 11 months rolled around I finally decided to do something about it! It was a hard few days… but once we put her crib in a different room {one bedroom little place} and helped her realize she didn’t need to nurse throughout the night, she discovered how much she LOVED going to sleep on her own and now sleeps a good 11 or 12 hours straight every night. There are SO many things we did with her that we will NOT be doing with our next newborn, but circumstances really made it tough. Regardless, I learned plenty of do’s and don’ts… most of all, I learned that it’s ok for them to cry a little bit. They will soon {my daughter within a couple days} quit crying all together and has slept wonderfully ever since.
Carpenter's says
OH I really have enjoyed Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. It has everything you can imagine on helping with sleep! Try this book I refer still to this day!
Rachel says
Yea Linds! I love how you explained your connection to Jessica – it’s a small world. Hope the little girl decides to start sleeping sooner than later 🙂 We can’t wait till the next reunion to see you all again!
jess says
Thank you! It looks like I am off to Barnes and Noble today… But I have to admit I feel much better about my little girl’s sleeping habits after reading some of the comments!
Sarah says
My first boy slept through the night on his own, my 15 month old needed more work. At 8 months I was tired of getting up, so I stopped. He cried for over an hour. I didn’t sleep either, I was too scared to go back to sleep. I sat downstairs and listened to him till he stopped (almost 2 hours) The next night he cried for less than an hour and the next night he slept all night!! Haven’t had a problem since. I never thought I could just let him cry like that for so long, too, but it was so worth it! Now we all sleep through the night. Granted, both boys share a room, so I did pull my 5 year old in bed with us for those 2 nights while the young one cried, but now no problems!
Jocelyn Christensen says
Hey Now, all this baby sleep talk and no one has mentioned Babywise? That book totally worked for all three of my kids from day one. Good stuff though, good stuff! Thanks for sharing all of this with us, Lindsay!
Lindsay says
Thanks for the comments! I hope the post was helpful. I have read Babywise and Heatlhy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, but I felt like they promoted that “one-size-fits-all” idea that I was trying to avoid. But, that could be my biased opinion talking! 🙂 Those books have been helpful for a lot of moms. I just favor methods that are a little more flexible and allow room for a mom to follow her instincts. Bottom line, I think that’s the most important thing for a mom to do. Same idea with letting your baby cry–it works great for some moms and some babies…but for others it totally doesn’t, and sometimes I think moms feel like that’s the only way to go. And it’s not. It sure didn’t work with my girl, at least when I tried it. I’ll actually probably try it again here shortly because I feel she might be more ready now.
Oh, and Happiest Baby on the Block is a great book, too. Karp’s ideas were very helpful for my baby when she was a super fussy newborn.
Emili says
Great post Linds! Loved it!
I think I need to get “Sleepless in America”. Ironically my 18 month old sleeps like a dream – its my almost 5 year old that sometimes wakes me up at night. Great info all around!
Robin Baker says
I’ve read several of those and love them. I had a problem with my second child waking very early in the morning and crying and never going back to sleep. We’re talkin’ before 5am – he was 2 years old! Come to find out he had reflux (GERD) and was in pain! We got some medicine and the next morning he slept until 6:30am. He’s never had a problem since. 6 I can handle, 4am? No thank you. I felt so guilty….
Bob C says
My first was a major crier and I didn’t know what to do. Got sick of it. Oh wait, that’s you, Lindsay.
Marco Phillipstein says
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marco Phillipstein says
I have read tons of sleeping books but I can’t seem to get my kid to sleep.