I’ve had quite a few conversations lately about the topic for my blog post this month…”I Choose Love.” These conversations have all been based on different marriages and it has made me think about my own marriage. I think we can all agree that we want happiness. We all have dreams of the “perfect” life. We all want the “perfect” home, the “perfect kids”, and last but not least, the “perfect man”. Personally, I’ve had Mr. Darcy running around my head for years as my idea of “perfection”. 🙂 ahhhh…Mr. Darcy.
But, the reality is that I’m not married to Mr. Darcy. I’m married to Ricky Blaylock. A very good man. A man with many talents and strengths that I admire, with many other qualities that I love. And he makes me very happy. BUT, he’s a real person, with shortcomings, weaknesses and things that he strives to overcome. He definitely isn’t perfect. And even though I completely ADORE him, sometimes I really want to poke him in the eye.
Our marriages should be our most important relationships, yet they can be the hardest relationships to keep strong. Is it worth it to work hard at it? ABSOLUTELY! Will it be easy? NOPE! But, as we work on it our families will be stronger, our kids will be happier, and we will feel peace. It is worth our very best efforts!
When I met Ricky, we had both been through very painful divorces. In a conversation one night he told me something that has had a powerful impact on me. And it was actually very simple. He said in marriage, you have to CHOOSE TO LOVE. And every day you have to make that choice over and over again. Especially on the days when you don’t really even like your spouse, you still have a CHOICE to love them.
So, this month, I thought I’d share an idea that I love. I love it because it’s a simple way to choose to love.
I believe that love requires a great deal of work. It requires effort and constant care. But, I also believe that it’s possible to enjoy it and have fun with it.
Regardless of where you are in your relationship, this is manageable.
Step Three: Place them in places where your husband will find them. Have fun with this. Put them in a pocket, on the mirror, in the shower, on his rear-view mirror, in his wallet, in his shoe, send one in the mail to his office, etc. Get creative!
Step Four: To go the extra mile, write your own personal love note on the back.
I know there may be some of you who are reading this who may actually be fighting every day to “choose to love” your spouse. You may actually struggle to even like him. You are not alone. We all have those challenging times. Our relationships are all different and it definitely takes BOTH spouses to have a happy, successful marriage. I’ve learned that I can’t change, control or fix my husband. None of us can. But I CAN do something almost just as powerful. I can work to stay focused on the good. There really is good in us all. And most importantly, I can CHOOSE TO LOVE him.
I believe there is great power in that simple choice that’s mine.
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